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Wow... sounds like a tough spot. I think this calls for clear rules and friendly yet firm enforcement.
I don't think there's any way you can avoid bad Yelp reviews, if that's the kind of stuff you're currently dealing with. You are "the coffee shop with all the rules"... you are not a student center, a public park, or a mall food court. You are a business. You've seen what the other approach will get you.
Would you be willing to lock the bathrooms, keeping the key behind the register? Put a big sign on it saying that it is for customers only?
If they bring in outside food, politely inform them of your policies. If they object or refuse, ask them to leave. You pay the rent... if they become abusive, call the police.
The key - keep your voice pleasant yet firm. Smile. You are making a reasonable request, not being the big meanie. When they leave, thank them for coming. If they confront you, make them be the unreasonable one in the situation.
When you are not there, close your patio. Take your chairs indoors or chain them up.
Make sure your staff is on the same page, and make sure that they are enforcing as well.
Hopefully some others that have been there will jump in with their strategies. Good luck!
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