Obviously coffee is a big part of my waking life, and it features regularly in my FB posts, Tweets, conversations, etc. Apparently one of my family members hasn't figured my criteria for good coffee, despite my repeated efforts to educate him, as kindly as possible. He likes to posture as a coffee connoisseur, but he obviously doesn't have a clue. Consider the following conversation:

Family member:

I got some starbucks sumutra ill trade ya for somthin else if ya wanna eck yuck
3:57pm

Me:

You're joking, right?
3:57pm

Family member:

no nasty stuff I suggest not serving that @ bakery

i like the esspresso and itilian roast but not that
3:59pm

Me:

No, thanks. Starbucks and I don't agree. On anything. Especially coffee.
4:00pm

Family member:

haha talkiong the stuff u get from store :):)
4:01pm

Me:

Nope. Not interested. Sorry.
4:02pm

Family member:

haha hates spending $9 to find out dont like it


I soooo very nearly severed every bridge of commonality between us during that discussion. I changed my response almost every time, because on a visceral level, I wanted to make vicious fun of his ignorance. However, I kept my head, and played nice.

Wasn't easy, though.

On second thought, I should have traded him some of the worst, over-roasted beans I could find, just to see if his coffee palate is as undeveloped as I suspect.