April/May 2009
written by Bo Liles

There is something about knowledge that is both empowering and crippling. I find that I have unintentionally devoted a large portion of my brain cells to housing useless knowledge. Now, sometimes this knowledge comes in handy — like when you are at a party of nerds who like to argue about meaningless things such as coffee, bicycles, music, and the difference between a porter and a stout (which is a lot, btw). I admit that I am one of those nerds, and I know a lot about things that will not change your life if I were to share them with you.

One thing I know about is coffee. Now, I am not a trained expert on the level of a coffee cupper, buyer, or roaster. But I can hold my own with a fellow barista or a coffee nerd. I know the terminology, I can correctly pull manual espresso shots (thanks to my coffee Jedi Masters, Courtney & Sarah), sometimes I can pour recognizable latte art. I appreciate a good cappuccino or a well-roasted and brewed drip coffee.

And I know what a macchiatto is. And my knowledge of its definition and preparation causes me to loathe the masses of Starbucks customers who think it is a watery, super sweet concoction that some “drink designer” (who must like Twinkies and pixie sticks) forced upon unknowing caffeine addicts sometime during the dot com era.

For the record, Wikipedia, and any other encyclopedia would define it as:
“Caffè macchiato (IPA: [maʔˈkja(ː)to], sometimes called espresso macchiato) a type of coffee, is espresso with a small amount of hot, foamed milk.”

Now, Starbucks wants you to think it is:
“A popular American version of the latte macchiato is the Starbucks drink branded as a “caramel macchiato”. This drink is made by combining vanilla flavored syrup with steamed milk, pouring the espresso on top of the milk, then topping it off with caramel sauce. [1] The sauce then melts from the heat of the espresso directly under it and seeps down into the drink. Other flavors are made by using different sauces to top the drink.”

Stay with me, I have a larger point. The mere fact that I become highly annoyed at the mere mention of the Starbucks “mis-defined” drink indicates that I am a nerd and a snob who needs to let things lie. But they would be wrong.

But in the words of Harry Burns…”did you see that? I didn’t let it lie.”

This seemingly meaningless debate can speak to a dual issue within the cultural landscape of American life. First, we have become too comfortable allowing things to pass themselves off as something they are not. There is no greater example of this than people who are “famous” for merely being famous - when they have not accomplished a single thing in life other than attracting paparazzi. These people are about as relevant as leeches in a medieval hospital: they take mindlessly and do not benefit humankind.

Secondly, while things are mislabeled and wrongly defined in our culture it becomes apparent that my useless knowledge and annoyance is counterproductive and in fact, useless if I am unwilling to to use it for the hope of change and cultural re-alignment. A revolution does not exist until it spills out into the streets, and our mindsets about everything from coffee to social justice to God cannot change until we fight both mass group-think and intellectual apathy. This will define ours and future generations: did we let it lie, or did we stand up and say its time to have a conversation about where we are as a people and how we want to be defined by history. It’s about educating ourselves about those things that are original and beneficial — and sharing that knowledge rather than glaring in disgust.

So, what about that coffee issue I have? Coffee might be the second most traded commodity in the world, but I’m not sure it will cure a diseased celebrity/voyeuristic virus among our culture. BUT, it might just inspire a handful of passionate people to channel their anger about the world into creating, crafting and changing mindsets. One tiny macchiato at a time.

Well, after 3 months of not being being behind an espresso bar…I better damn well start re-educating the caffeinated masses again if this essay is going to make any sense.