How do I say 'No loitering' and 'No Carry-ins' politely and creatively?

Our shop is next door to a high school; which is truly a mixed blessing. The students bring great business and the lunch rushes are a lot of fun. The flip side to this are the students who skip school, steal, loiter, and litter. How do I clearly post signage that notifies them the we do not tolerate loitering or carry-ins without sounding offensive to the rest of my clientele? Ive seen signs in stores that are amusing while clearly stating their policies (eg 'All children not accompanied by an adult will be given a shot of espresso and a puppy :) If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear from you!

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Your sign can be explicit without seeming harsh. I would suggest just being blunt. "No Loitering. No Outside Food or Beverage." It makes it easy to understand, easy to enforce, and simple. I don't think reading those things are offensive.
One of the classic ways to say it goes something like this: "Welcome to _____ Coffee. We thank you for your business but ask that you limit your stay to _____ minutes."

Funny, but where I am, the kids are a joy to serve and the old farts my age are a pain. They are rude...kids never are. They leave news paper sections at their rear ends and break up stir sticks and drop them on the floor.

I'll take noisy kids any day.
Oh, and as a side note: I welcome food from outside. Not Star Bucks cups, but if they want to bring in pizza or something from one of the local restaurants, that's OK by me. The local restaurant staff are amoung our biggest clients so it's actually working for us, not against us.
Jason is spot on.

Remember it's a business. It's a coffee business. It's not a hang-out, it's not the library, it's not Burger King, Pizza Hut, etc. There is a small section of people who think that "supporting local" means it's ok to take advantage of you and not see you as an actual business. People will walk all over you if you let them.
Be direct, but be Polite. Customers will respect you more, and if you establish what is acceptable behavior, you will draw more and more customers who already know how to behave. Win-win.

Now go make some coffee!

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