With summer here, the annual freak-fest that is Big Brother is well underway. Joining the loons, freaks and other miscreants in the ‘car-crash’ TV stalwart is none other than Coffee Industry legend and self confirmed real fruit fanatic – Sweetbird.

In a statement released through his publicist, Sweetbird has stated “I would like to make it clear that the resent lurid tabloid stories about me and a member of Girls Aloud are completely fictitious. I will be using my time in the Big Brother House instilling my love of everything pure, natural and 100% real fruit to all members of the house. I would also like to use this opportunity to tell all contestants of BB9 that at no point do I intend doing the washing up”

A close personal friend of Mr Sweetbird (who for legal reasons can only be referred to as Helen X) has divulged his reasons for entering the house. “He is a driven bird, driven to make sure that everyone in the Big Brother House will get 100% pure fruit smoothies that haven’t had anything added or been mucked around with. He wants to build a better world filled with 100% real fruit smoothies that have been ethically sourced and cute little puppies. He will also be using this time to distance himself from a certain member of 80’s pop sensation T’pau.”

Contestants will be sampling the all new Sweetbird 100% Fruit Smoothie that was launched a few months ago, over the next 13 weeks. The three, ethically sourced ambient storage 100% fruit smoothies will ensure that housemates will get at least 1 of their recommended 5 a day along with their daily helping of gruel. The flavours include Mango & Orange, Blackberry & Blueberry and Pineapple and Passion fruit. The ambient storage 330ml bottles are a perfect addition to all retail locations.